LifeSkillsLive.org

i was dianosed with treatment-resistant depression many years ago, then rapid-cycling bi=ppolar disorder was added along with BPD.  I have tried more anti-depressants and anti-psychotic meds than imanginable and NONE of them worked!  I have been med free forsix months now and it has been harder gettingthem out of my system thanheroin or tobacco, but i am finally on the otherside and for the first time in manymany years i can think clearly and actually figure out how to cope and survive the same problems that before would make me suicidal and overwhelmed.  My mind finally is going at a pace that i can control. Meaning : when i start "wrong or bad" thinking i am able to stop myself. This is an amazing feat for me.  i do not live close enough to a dbt group or dbt therapist but just by reading online and listening to the words of my previous therapist, still in my head, i have been able to muddle my way through some very tough times all on my own.  I can honestly say i am proud of me! (not something i do think or do regularly.  putting a picture of me smiling is also something i have never done as smiling makes me vulnerable in my head i think my happiness can be taken away from me.

but today i chose to be happy and ok with me!  a far cry from where i've been for the past 9 years of this bout of depression.